Ash Talks Bachelor Nation and Race

Ash Talks Bach Vol. 10

Hi! Ashley here. I’m a thirty-three year old Black woman from North Carolina. I grew up in a diverse town, and I attended college at a historically Black university.  Like many Black adults, race is a big part of my identity.

I became a member of Bachelor Nation during Rachel’s season after promising a student I’d watch because someone finally looked like me.

therachlindsay

A post shared by Rachel Lindsay Abasolo (@therachlindsay)

 These days, I watch everything Bachelor related with my best friend, Jess, and I listen to a lot of podcasts. I’m fairly active on Bachelor Nation social media platforms. Much of this newsletter and my thoughts will be shaped by my personal experiences, so I had to get that out there.  Ok. Enough about me.

We’re a few short days away from an all new season of The Bachelor with Matt James as the lead.

The Bachelor @BachelorABC

1000x YES!!! 🌹 Just ONE WEEK until #TheBachelor premieres on ABC!

With our first Black Bachelor and one of the most diverse casts in the history of the show, I’m sure the next few months will be filled with dialogue on race, and after silently watching some of the conversation during Tayshia’s season, I thought I’d offer a few suggestions to consider. I’m not an expert by any means, so my suggestions are based on  my observations, personal interactions, and research. 

bachelorabc

A post shared by The Bachelor (@bachelorabc)

When Talking About Contestants and Their Experiences, it’s OK to be Specific

Not gonna lie, the first time I heard BIPOC, it threw me off. I wasn’t used to the term, and to me it felt like it grouped together people who experience racism very differently. I wasn’t alone.  However, I do recognize that the amalgam BIPOC was created to attempt to  rectify the problems that using the term POC can sometimes cause. However, whenever possible, if you are referring to an issue specific to a community, be specific. If a Black contestant faces an issue with racial undertones specific to the Black community say that. Also, pay attention to how that contestant identifies themselves. Many contestants on this season are biracial, so take their lead. Self-identification and perception are two totally different entities.

 For example, Tayshia, Rachel, and Van have a meaningful discussion on the Higher Learning podcast about her racial identity that provided way more context than was afforded  to her on the show:

Also, my personal pet peeve: capitalize the B in Black.

I am proud of the show for going from this segment on online bullying with no mention of race,

  to Ivan and Tayshia’s conversation about Black Lives Matter,

but there’s still so much more room to grow. 

Seek to Understand, Then to be Understood

So, you’re on a Bachelor Nation social media platform talking about race. Before you pontificate about the emotions or feelings of someone of another race, try listening to people in that community first, but don’t rely on them to carry the emotional weight of the conversation. Do the work, too.  A lot of these conversations will likely be uncomfortable at first, so instead of shying away from the discomfort, embrace it. Start by exploring your own racialized identity and how that may impact your viewing of the show. Also, the @BachDiversity website has a ton of resources to explore race issues specific to the Bachelor franchise.

Decentralize White Fragility

Watching Tayshia and Ivan have an open discussion on Black Lives Matter on the show was so powerful. However, I was immediately disheartened to see the dialogue on Twitter shift to how “all lives matter” people have to sit through this conversation. Imagine your first thought in this  year of racial reckoning being about that group of viewers.

Often on these social media platforms, I don’t even bother engaging or responding to questionable posts because often the conversation soon shifts to centralize white feelings. Getting in your feelings during a conversation about race can derail the conversation and tone police which can inhibit productive discussion, which does nothing for anyone.  This resource has tons of information to help navigate productive conversations on race. Moderators of these social media platforms should do a better job of making these platforms places where meaningful dialogue can occur instead of echo chambers that serve as microcosms of what takes place in our society.

Non Black People of Color- Investigate How Anti-Blackness Shows Up in Your Community

Something else I’ve noticed during these discussions in Bachelor Nation is that some people of color will speak on issues that aren’t specific to their community (usually Black issues) and get it wrong. First,  no one can speak on behalf of an entire community of people, even if they belong to the community themselves (which is why I prefaced this newsletter with my background).

Second, investigate how anti-Blackness shows up in your community and start there. It’s important to show solidarity, and it’s even more important to listen to other groups whose experiences are different than your own. 

Black People Aren’t a Monolith 

I started this post with who I am and where I’m from, as it shapes my experiences and feelings about several issues that come up on the show. Something that offends me might not bother someone else. Despite what voting polls suggest, Black people are going to have different feelings about political issues and storylines on the show.  Some people want to engage in conversation with you and others don’t. Treat people in online spaces as individuals not as representatives of an entire community. 

I really am looking forward to constructive dialogue about race on this season of The Bachelor. If you enjoyed reading my post, subscribe to my newsletter and  follow me at @ashtalksbach on Twitter.

Xoxo,

Ashley