Beyond the Edit

What I Learned Listening to the Women of Southern Charm

Without a doubt, Southern Charm is my favorite reality show of the moment. I started watching last summer when I finished binging Summer House, and I am proud to say that I finished nine seasons in a few short months. I was locked in to watch season ten live last year; it has been appointment television for me ever since. While the central narrative of the show focuses on Shep Rose, Austen Kroll, and Craig Conover, this season especially, I am more invested in the dynamics between the women.

In the last few weeks, Venita Aspen, Salley Carson, and Molly O’Connell have made podcast appearances to discuss some of the issues playing out this season, and there is much more nuance than one-hour episodes allow. These podcast features were more than just commenting on drama. Instead, they helped paint a clear picture of each of the women beyond what we see on our screens. As a viewer, it is easy to assume that we have the full picture, but hearing these women in their own words helped me unpack what is beneath the surface.

Life Before Bravo

We have already been told some of their backgrounds through the show, but I was invested in hearing about who they were before the Bravo stage. Venita has been a dedicated fashion influencer for many years, and she gets into her origin story as an OG fashion blogger. Molly goes into more detail about her time on America’s Next Top Model, including the complete invasion of privacy the contestants were forced to endure.

Salley talks about her experience ending an engagement one month before her wedding due to infidelity, which led to her appearance on The Bachelor, where she self-eliminated before the first night even began. She also talks about how her other reality show appearances fell into her lap, debunking the myth that she is chasing fame and show-hopping for relevance. She describes her job in detail and how production on Southern Charm always understands that her job comes first. This paints her portrayal on Bachelor in Paradise in a whole new light, considering her late arrival was due to her demanding job and the fact that her ex-fiancé also worked with her, which she confirms on Paradiseand in this interview.

The conversations around who they were before Bravo, juxtaposed with their current goals and aspirations, helped me see the growth that Bravo sometimes leaves on the cutting room floor.

Reality TV as a Workplace

One of the most interesting comments about the show being a job came from Molly. She mentioned how the show forces the cast together to directly address conflict in ways that normal friend dynamics outside of reality television would not have to. She also disclosed that even if the people directly involved in the conflict are not willing to talk, other cast members will ask direct questions to keep the conflict and the storyline going. This disclosure helped me better understand the dynamics between Venita and Craig.

After the breakup heard around the Bravoverse, Venita was asked her opinion and disclosed that she was Team Paige. This led to Craig saying he did not want to associate with her, which would cause a rift in any friend group, but especially when that friendship dynamic directly affects their employment status. As an original cast member beloved by fans, Craig’s stance could affect the number of scenes Venita films, as well as future casting decisions. She is also the only woman of color on the show, which adds an additional layer to this complicated dynamic. During Salley’s interview, this point was diminished by the hosts. However, Summer House’s Ciara Miller came to Venita’s defense online. Venita talks about her close relationship with Ciara, which fans do not see on screen, providing additional context for Venita’s alignment with Paige DeSorbo instead of Craig.

As a result of their interviews, it is clear that each of these women has to balance their real-life friendships with their on-screen dynamics, and what we see on our screens tells only a fraction of the truth.

On-Screen Drama vs. Off-Screen Reality

Each of these women has contributed to the on-screen drama this season, which has affected their off-screen reality. Based on the interviews, Venita and Salley are actively working to repair their friendship. The pair got closer off-camera before filming, but the conflict from the show and the confessionals left both women feeling hurt by the other’s comments as they watch the season back.

From Salley’s perspective, we heard more about her forming a bond with Venita despite not actively liking her love interest from last season, JT. She does not understand how that situation was different from her showing interest in Craig, who was at odds with Venita. She even reveals that JT planned to expose her on the show, but it was never aired. Hearing her side of things made me understand her more. However, I am not sure if the women were at the same level of closeness during each situation, but it did provide more context for Salley and Venita’s on-screen dynamics.

Based on Molly’s interview, it seems like she is friendly with the other women on the show, but they are not necessarily close friends. I have seen both Salley and Venita support Molly’s singing career on Instagram post-show by attending her musical gigs at By The Way, which reveals that their relationship when cameras are off is supportive and friendly.

Online Criticism and Likability

While Molly has had a warm reception from fans so far, Venita and Salley have not been so fortunate. Venita only has the social media app Threads on her phone. Her assistant handles all of her other social media content to shield her from exposure to the vitriolic comments she regularly receives from fans.

Salley usually approaches criticism from fans in a cheeky manner, but she stated that the commentary about her this season has been particularly cruel, which I have also noticed on several occasions. How can fans want real portrayals of women navigating friendship and love and then punish them for being human? We only have access to snippets of their lives, yet fans continue to make character and moral judgments with limited information. Furthermore, no one would tune in to see flawless women behaving perfectly, and these women are not given an ounce of the grace that Shep, Craig, and Austen receive for worse behavior and toxic friendship dynamics, often portrayed with little accountability or apology. There is a difference between critiquing a decision or a dynamic and crossing the line into cruelty. The comments about Venita and Salley, especially, often do exactly that.

What Changed for Me as a Viewer

Before I listened to these interviews, I had general goodwill toward all three women, and I am walking away feeling the same way, but perhaps with even more respect for the vulnerability it takes to allow cameras to capture the good, the bad, the messy, and everything in between. Now, I take what I see on my screen with a grain of salt and pay more attention to what I see when the women are allowed to tell their stories themselves. How do these women engage with each other on social media, and how do they support each other along the way?

While each of them navigates their experiences on the show differently, they each bring something to the table that makes Southern Charm a dynamic show to watch while helping to solidify its staying power in its current iteration and for seasons to come. It is important to consider what this show is telling us about women, love, and friendship today, but it is equally important to listen to the women tell their stories for themselves.